Baseball anyone?
by Uncle.Dragon
Summary: Due to the high percentage of you being trolled by this fic, parental guidance is advised.


It's a Sunday like any other. That means our retarded protagonist, Yoshii Akihisa, didn't have go to school today. But even in a Sunday he needs help.

"If you don't score, Aki, I'll kill you!" the blue haired pitcher yelled out.

"Easy for you to say dammit!" Akihisa the batter retorts, "You are in the baseball club Hinata-kun!"

"Fine, but even if I didn't, your teammates will still kill you anyway." Hinata pointed out. And true enough, all of Akihisa's teammates are all obviously glaring at their batter with murderous eyes, some of the bench warmers are even sharpening their knives and swords or assembling guns and bazookas.

"O-ok." Akihisa gave a shaky reply, completely heartbroken by his teammates/classmates.

"3 strikes, you're out!"

Seems obvious enough that Hinata scored a landslide victory. Not that the others didn't do their part, but the main reason was still the fact that Akihisa is a lousy batter. The last time Akihisa finally managed to hit a ball, was when he broke a window of Nishimura's apartment.

Although the game is over, Akihisa's torment was just the beginning.

"GET'IM BOYS!"

"U-UUUUUWWWAAAAAAAHHHHH-!"

* * *

><p><strong>Back home<strong>

* * *

><p>"Why's your face is like that? Hmm let me guess… your teammates murdered you because didn't score?"<p>

"That wasn't a question sis, that was being sarcas-"

"I know what I am talking about, I'm an undergrad."

The lady in question was Yoshii Akira, Akihisa's older, busty undergrad sister who returned from America.

"Now that I think about it, I know who can teach you how to play baseball properly~!"

"Really?" Akihisa's bruised eyes brightens, "Who is it?"

Akira looks back at her younger brother.

"It's a secret!" She replies with a adorable wink.

* * *

><p><strong>Honekawa residence, later that night<strong>

* * *

><p>"So... You want me to teach the stupid protagonist how to play baseball properly."<p>

"Yeah. So that he don't get beaten by his friends again."

Honekawa Suneo opened his good eye in doubt.

"Akira... I don't play baseball; not for a long time I mean." Honekawa huffed his smoke out as he taps his cigar ashes off into his ashtray. "But I do know who can teach him though."

"Please do, I am leaving my baby brother in your hands then~!" Akira said, her beautiful face only centimeters away from the scar-faced man.

"Get off my face." Suneo growls with a straight face.

* * *

><p><strong>School, on Monday<strong>

* * *

><p>"2 Strikes, 0 balls, 2 outs!"<p>

Our heroes have decided to play a rematch during lunch break, and so far, things aren't looking too good.

"Akihisa!"

Akihisa was practicing his swings right outside the bench when Yuuji called out.

"Don't lose or I'll kill you like we did the last time." Yuuji threatens.

"I won't! Don't worry about it Yuuji! You should worry about yourself instead! I saw Kirishima-san earlier outside the field looking for ya."

"Tch!"

Seconds later after Yuuji leaped to the back of the benches, came the moment of truth.

"Yo Akihisa! Ready to hit a home-run on me today?" Hinata taunted.

"Hell yeah and you better believe it!" Akihisa scoffed back, "Get those porno and food tickets ready cos' I'm gonna win!"

Batter and pitcher made it to their positions.

Hinata raised his right leg up and prepares his pitch, going for the kill.

"_Okay here it comes..." _

Hinata throws the ball as everyone gazes on Akihisa.

"I think we are screwed." commented Hideyoshi.

"I can't bear to watch." Sugawa cover his eyes with his hands.

"And the goose is cooked." Mussolini added.

To everyone in the school field, the world suddenly stops to revolve around the ball and Akihisa.

Then suddenly, Akihisa shouts to break the silence.

"**HAMA! RYU-OH JIN!"**

With a mighty swing, Akihisa finally manages to hit the ball and sends it flying off into the sky, in a blink, the ball disappeared.

"It's a home-run! Team F wins!"

"What the hell Akihisa! HOW YOU DO THAT!" Yuuji, with his uniform suddenly ripped to shreds, exclaimed in disbelief.

"We won! We finally won! With Akihisa on the team too!" Sugawa weeps with happiness along the rest of his purple robed cultists.

"I find that name awfully famil-"

"Who cares? We WON!"

And so Akihisa was never murdered, humiliated, bullied or beaten up ever again, as his team never lost a single match since that day forth. Or maybe he should have told them how Akira sold him to Amaterasu like a cattle, to become her castle guard, so he received hellish training for the 8 hours of sleep.

A guard to a beautiful goddess, surely Sugawa and the Cult would have his head for it.

Then again, is this even a highschool comedy anymore?


End file.
